Sometimes we ask ourselves what really is obstructing our creating the ideal relationship and in experiencing true love. Unfortunately, this is usually a rhetorical question because instead of thinking and looking for answers, we run into simple thought patterns that are usually repeated on such an occasion. We say that our happiness with another person stonewalling the money, time and fear.
When someone asks us why we did not create a perfect relationship, we would tell him we do not have enough money to set up a peaceful and stable family, we would say about time to look for the only person, not to mention share this time with other half. We would also say something about fear: fear of rejection, fear of the first step, fear of being not good enough for the one or for the only one. We would say yes, because they all say that.
Different beliefs-excuses are really many. You may hear that we are still too young or too old to hear the excuses of being hurt earlier or of generally bad experiences and unwillingness to repeat them. If we do the examination of conscience, we will probably find ourselves with such comments and arguments.
Sometimes such arguments are really sharp and we wonder if we are good enough at all to be able to love someone? After all we have so many disadvantages and so little to offer …
You have to realize that these are all external patterns of behavior and models of relationships that we have heard from parents, from our surroundings and from the mass culture. Sometimes there is also an element of observation. The problem is that all these patterns do not have to be imitated at all.
In breaking up with such schemes, it is most important to focus first on healthy egoism. It depends on the fact that we should first feel good with ourselves before we begin to take for sharing our live with someone else. The relationship should not be a starting point for happiness, but rather a complement it. We have to take care of own needs in order to be able to give something of yourself one another. Usually if we focus on our happiness and we will be open, the right person will become clear.